As a child few managed to solve the riddles it takes to gain access. As protection I kept my face in a book and my head down.
I don't remember peace, but the quest has been strong and consuming.
With time comes responsibility, and choices box us into the next phase of life.
I found out at only 17 that masks are an easy fit, invisible but necessary to swim through the throngs of strangers that pass in and out of daily life.
And I found out I have talent for hiding myself behind those protective shields. They give me courage to fight for what is right with my head held high and the doubt I feel inside hidden from view.
Rule number one is not to lie to myself and taken to the extreme no one has ever been as hard on me as I am.
Petrified of being judged it is almost impossible to find fault in me that I don't already perceive to be true.
Rule number two, once chosen for my inner circle you will be treated with kindness, interest and respect.
Rule number three has no room for compromise, and with all my being I wish it were not so. All wrongs must be made right.
Why I appointed myself champion of others who won't help themselves is beyond me.
Who am I to deal out the verdict of right from wrong?
Peace would be minding my own business, leaving well enough alone, just being me.
But the heartache I feel when a bully hurts another person because they can or life is unfair because people won't choose a path that should be followed is too strong.
So peace is sacrificed and the small acknowledgments of thanks for making a difference to a life are enough.
Maybe time will find me in a position to ease up on myself and remove a mask or two, but it hasn't happened yet.
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